The People...

So...I've had a while to peruse the ads. I can't help but wonder what the hell people are thinking when they post these things...

Example #1: "Freash out of prison and I'm lookin to start new with someone special"

Analysis: Ok first off, that was not a typo in that sentence...well not my typo anyways. I'm not perfect when it comes to typing and I'm sure there will be plenty of typos in this blog on occasion. But seriously?? When first impressions mean everything, you can't even bother to spell check?? And the actual content of the sentence...SMDH...Dude, I appreciate your honesty, but how many people do you think you're actually going to get with that as your opening line? Not this chick right here. Nope. No sir. But again, I have to give the man credit for being honest. A felony record is something I want to know about upfront. I wish him all the best in finding someone.

Example #2: I receive a notification of an email and this is what it says "HI HOW R U DOING U CAN STOP LOOKING U HAVE FOUND ME I WOULD LIKE TO GET TO KNOW U AND TALK TO U SO CALL ME AT ..." and proceeds to give me his phone number. Oh and he had the nerve to put in the subject line "THE TRUTH"

Analysis: Really??? I just don't even know where to begin with this. Well, I guess I would start with the fact that anyone in 2011 that doesn't realize that TALKING IN ALL CAPS IS THE EQUIVALENT OF YELLING,  that it's RUDE and actually kind of LAZY is not someone that can keep up with me. Again, let's examine the content here. Was I supposed to respond with "Oh thank God! I can just close my account now!" I suppose that was intended as confidence. Gentlemen: There is a fine line between confident and cocky. Learn that line. Understand that line. Be able to find that line blindfolded with your hands tied behind your back. The single women are begging you! And speaking of single women...my guess is that the reason he opened with that statement is because it's worked for him before. Ladies. We have to help each other out. Can we please resolve not to put up with this kind of crap? See, because when you set your standards low it affects me in situations like this.

There are many more like these two, but I'll save them for another day. Remind me again why I'm doing this? 

The Ad...

First you have to decide which of the 9 million dating sites you're going to choose. How do you even do that? Personally, I picked the one that I see the most commercials for. You know...the one that guarantees you someone in 6 months or you get your money back. Or at least they used to make that guarantee...I'm noticing that's not being said on their most recent ads. Is that a sign?? Oh well, the money for the subscription's been paid now, so I guess I'm stuck for the next 3 months at least.

Next comes designing your ad. How do you sell yourself without sounding corny? Got to have a great catch phrase to lure the men in...yeah...still not sure if I've got that one right...Oh well. On to the next questions...why are there so many? Many of them I see the validity of, but some of them are a little ridiculous.  Is the man of my dreams really going to care whether I like fish or not? How many relationships have ended because the couple couldn't decide what kind of pet to get? Quite frankly, if that was the reason cited, I would argue that there was something much deeper going on than could be solved at the local pet store. But, I answer the question. Why? Because I get a glaring ORANGE note when I leave something blank, and I feel like I'm being yelled at. That my relationship status depends on having all of these fields filled out. Besides, I can't stand unfinished business.  Then it comes time to fill out the narrative. How do you summarize who you are in a paragraph? Oh sure, you can write a novella about your beliefs, hopes and dreams but given the attention span of most of us who the hell is really going to read that much? I'm half tempted to write something incredibly long just to see who can hang in there.

But I try to keep it simple. I talk about how wonderful I am. Talk about what qualities I want in my mate. This is not as easy as it sounds. I mean, I know I'm awesome. And I want to show that. But to acheive that without sound arrogant is a feat in itself. Then to try and list the qualities I want in a mate and not sound demanding? But in all honesty, I'm in a unique situation where I can say exactly what I want. It is one of the advantages to online dating. If you don't want to date left handed people, you can say that (I have no preference for left or right handed people by the way). And reading through others ads gives you an opportunity to decide who you're dealing with and if you want to deal with them at all. Of course, this is totally reliant on the idea that people are being truthful in their posts...but we'll get into that discussion another day.  So after many revisions I get my narrative at least in the ball park of where I want it to be and post my ad. Now let's see who surfaces....

Hello World

I'm a single mom. Any single mom will tell you that dating isn't easy. Finding a guy that will accept that there is (at least) one person that will always come before them is hard. Let's complicate that fact that I have a child with some chronic medical issues. I'm sounding more and more attractive by the minute right? Yeah...that's what I thought. So I'm giving the online dating thing a try...again...for like the 3rd time...I'm a slow learner, ok?


I won't go into the sordid details of those past relationships...at least not now...maybe on a slow day, but for now I've got plenty of fresh material. I want to start off by saying that I don't intend for this to be a place where I bash everyone I date. But, I figure as long as I'm suffering through this dating scene, I might as well find some humor right? At the very least I'll have a place to whine about things so my friends don't have to hear about it all the time.


So that's me...hope you enjoy my life as much as I try to!