I know this is supposed to be my observations of my current dating life, but in the past 24 hours I've been contacted by 2 exes. Both stating that they miss me...they were stupid for letting me go, blah, blah blah. Now normally I would quote a line made famous by a Cee-Lo song. If it was anyone but these two particular people.
Ex #1 is someone I'll never be rid of. He's the father of my child. And I'll be the first to tell you that he's been a total ASS and has done nothing for either of us. That includes child support, emotional support or anything that generally goes along with being a good parent. We do still talk on occasion, but last night was completely different. Don't worry, I have no delusions of grandeur. I'm not kidding myself. I know who he is and how he can be. And I don't think I can ever forgive him for hurting my son. However, the conversation does remind me of how things used to be. Of who he could be. I'd be lying if I didn't think how nice it would be to be a real family. The whole conversation was surreal...it was nice to not have a hostile conversation with him. But then the sun rises and with it brings reality. That is a life I will never know. What I can hope is that he can get his act together enough to recognize what he's missing out on by not seeing our sweet child grow up. The one good thing that came out of the conversation was that I've recognized that I've finally forgiven him. There is an inner peace that I have in dealing with him. I'm grateful for him entering my life because without him, I wouldn't have my son. So for those reasons, I wish him well. I want to see him succeed and be a better person if for no other reason that it will be best for my son.
Ex #2 is someone I can't seem to stay away from even though I probably should. We dated a for a few months a few years back. With him having sole custody of his children and me with my little man, we had a happy little unit together. Lots of chemistry, the kids got along. We all loved each other. Then life happened. My J-man was diagnosed and my life turned upside down. Then the ex got bogged down with work and trying to manage his own household. Eventually it was time to just call it quits. It was one of the most difficult break ups because we weren't fighting. Nothing "bad" happened. Just life. Being contacted by him just brings up all the thoughts about what could have been. He wants to meet up for a meal, and I'm sure I'll probably agree to it, like a fool. And it figures he would show his face right when I'm moving on with the new prospects.
Sunday, September 4, 2011
Friday, September 2, 2011
The Contenders...
Yeah...so it's been a while since I've posted anything. That's because there wasn't much to write about. Well, I suppose I could have written about the random guy that I met at the gas station. He seemed nice enough. Exchanged numbers. Then the texting began. And kept going...and going...and going. Seriously, he was like the Energizer Bunny with the constant texting. At first it was cute/endearing. It was sweet that he was texting me to say good morning. Then it started happening every morning. And then came the mid-day, afternoon and evening texts. Stalker, much? Anyways...had to politely tell him I was no longer interested.
Then there was a bit of a dry spell. Let me tell you how good that is for the self esteem...lots of people looking at your profile but no one gives any indication that they're interested. Sometimes that "Who's Viewed You" is a blessing and a curse... Right when I was ready to give up and cancel the account, the romantic flood gates opened. And it seemed to come from all directions. So here's a run-down of the contenders.
Then there was a bit of a dry spell. Let me tell you how good that is for the self esteem...lots of people looking at your profile but no one gives any indication that they're interested. Sometimes that "Who's Viewed You" is a blessing and a curse... Right when I was ready to give up and cancel the account, the romantic flood gates opened. And it seemed to come from all directions. So here's a run-down of the contenders.
- Mr. A - this is a guy that I met from a dating site about 3 years ago and we went on a couple dates, didn't really pan out. We were friends on a popular social networking site but never really talked much. We went out once last year but in our conversations he obviously wasn't over the ex-gf he had dated after me. Flash forward to this year and we've reconnected...again...we haven't gone out yet, but who knows? Third time could be the charm, right?
- Mr. T - no...not that one, silly...lol This guy is someone I knew from high school. We were good friends then. Of course we found each other through that social networking site a few years ago. After the intial catch up of where our lives were we really didn't talk much for a few years. Then out of the blue I get a message from him. Says I'm looking good and he wants to meet up for coffee. Tells me I should call him so we can talk. Could it be the new pictures that have been posted showing off the brand new me caught his eye? Your guess is as good as mine. Either way it will be nice to see an old friend.
- Mr. C - new online friend that I've been having great conversation with. We've been messaging back and forth and I think I'm close to giving him my number *gasp* He's a mental health counselor (it would be nice to have one on call anytime I needed it). Seems really nice so far. Stay tuned...
- Mr. D - another new online friend that came onto the scene the same day Mr. C did. Wonder if they featured my profile or something...Anyways, he seems nice enough. In his profile he says he's quiet though. I've dated quiet guys and it never works. In case you can't tell I like to talk. But more than that I like to have a conversation, which means that there are points where I'm not talking and the other person is. Not to mention he lives about an hour and half away. Let's be realistic about how a relationship will work with that kind of distance. But, I'm not going to count him out just yet. There may be a phone call to him on the horizon very soon too.
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
The People...
So...I've had a while to peruse the ads. I can't help but wonder what the hell people are thinking when they post these things...
Example #1: "Freash out of prison and I'm lookin to start new with someone special"
Analysis: Ok first off, that was not a typo in that sentence...well not my typo anyways. I'm not perfect when it comes to typing and I'm sure there will be plenty of typos in this blog on occasion. But seriously?? When first impressions mean everything, you can't even bother to spell check?? And the actual content of the sentence...SMDH...Dude, I appreciate your honesty, but how many people do you think you're actually going to get with that as your opening line? Not this chick right here. Nope. No sir. But again, I have to give the man credit for being honest. A felony record is something I want to know about upfront. I wish him all the best in finding someone.
Example #2: I receive a notification of an email and this is what it says "HI HOW R U DOING U CAN STOP LOOKING U HAVE FOUND ME I WOULD LIKE TO GET TO KNOW U AND TALK TO U SO CALL ME AT ..." and proceeds to give me his phone number. Oh and he had the nerve to put in the subject line "THE TRUTH"
Analysis: Really??? I just don't even know where to begin with this. Well, I guess I would start with the fact that anyone in 2011 that doesn't realize that TALKING IN ALL CAPS IS THE EQUIVALENT OF YELLING, that it's RUDE and actually kind of LAZY is not someone that can keep up with me. Again, let's examine the content here. Was I supposed to respond with "Oh thank God! I can just close my account now!" I suppose that was intended as confidence. Gentlemen: There is a fine line between confident and cocky. Learn that line. Understand that line. Be able to find that line blindfolded with your hands tied behind your back. The single women are begging you! And speaking of single women...my guess is that the reason he opened with that statement is because it's worked for him before. Ladies. We have to help each other out. Can we please resolve not to put up with this kind of crap? See, because when you set your standards low it affects me in situations like this.
There are many more like these two, but I'll save them for another day. Remind me again why I'm doing this?
Example #1: "Freash out of prison and I'm lookin to start new with someone special"
Analysis: Ok first off, that was not a typo in that sentence...well not my typo anyways. I'm not perfect when it comes to typing and I'm sure there will be plenty of typos in this blog on occasion. But seriously?? When first impressions mean everything, you can't even bother to spell check?? And the actual content of the sentence...SMDH...Dude, I appreciate your honesty, but how many people do you think you're actually going to get with that as your opening line? Not this chick right here. Nope. No sir. But again, I have to give the man credit for being honest. A felony record is something I want to know about upfront. I wish him all the best in finding someone.
Example #2: I receive a notification of an email and this is what it says "HI HOW R U DOING U CAN STOP LOOKING U HAVE FOUND ME I WOULD LIKE TO GET TO KNOW U AND TALK TO U SO CALL ME AT ..." and proceeds to give me his phone number. Oh and he had the nerve to put in the subject line "THE TRUTH"
Analysis: Really??? I just don't even know where to begin with this. Well, I guess I would start with the fact that anyone in 2011 that doesn't realize that TALKING IN ALL CAPS IS THE EQUIVALENT OF YELLING, that it's RUDE and actually kind of LAZY is not someone that can keep up with me. Again, let's examine the content here. Was I supposed to respond with "Oh thank God! I can just close my account now!" I suppose that was intended as confidence. Gentlemen: There is a fine line between confident and cocky. Learn that line. Understand that line. Be able to find that line blindfolded with your hands tied behind your back. The single women are begging you! And speaking of single women...my guess is that the reason he opened with that statement is because it's worked for him before. Ladies. We have to help each other out. Can we please resolve not to put up with this kind of crap? See, because when you set your standards low it affects me in situations like this.
There are many more like these two, but I'll save them for another day. Remind me again why I'm doing this?
Sunday, June 19, 2011
The Ad...
First you have to decide which of the 9 million dating sites you're going to choose. How do you even do that? Personally, I picked the one that I see the most commercials for. You know...the one that guarantees you someone in 6 months or you get your money back. Or at least they used to make that guarantee...I'm noticing that's not being said on their most recent ads. Is that a sign?? Oh well, the money for the subscription's been paid now, so I guess I'm stuck for the next 3 months at least.
Next comes designing your ad. How do you sell yourself without sounding corny? Got to have a great catch phrase to lure the men in...yeah...still not sure if I've got that one right...Oh well. On to the next questions...why are there so many? Many of them I see the validity of, but some of them are a little ridiculous. Is the man of my dreams really going to care whether I like fish or not? How many relationships have ended because the couple couldn't decide what kind of pet to get? Quite frankly, if that was the reason cited, I would argue that there was something much deeper going on than could be solved at the local pet store. But, I answer the question. Why? Because I get a glaring ORANGE note when I leave something blank, and I feel like I'm being yelled at. That my relationship status depends on having all of these fields filled out. Besides, I can't stand unfinished business. Then it comes time to fill out the narrative. How do you summarize who you are in a paragraph? Oh sure, you can write a novella about your beliefs, hopes and dreams but given the attention span of most of us who the hell is really going to read that much? I'm half tempted to write something incredibly long just to see who can hang in there.
But I try to keep it simple. I talk about how wonderful I am. Talk about what qualities I want in my mate. This is not as easy as it sounds. I mean, I know I'm awesome. And I want to show that. But to acheive that without sound arrogant is a feat in itself. Then to try and list the qualities I want in a mate and not sound demanding? But in all honesty, I'm in a unique situation where I can say exactly what I want. It is one of the advantages to online dating. If you don't want to date left handed people, you can say that (I have no preference for left or right handed people by the way). And reading through others ads gives you an opportunity to decide who you're dealing with and if you want to deal with them at all. Of course, this is totally reliant on the idea that people are being truthful in their posts...but we'll get into that discussion another day. So after many revisions I get my narrative at least in the ball park of where I want it to be and post my ad. Now let's see who surfaces....
Next comes designing your ad. How do you sell yourself without sounding corny? Got to have a great catch phrase to lure the men in...yeah...still not sure if I've got that one right...Oh well. On to the next questions...why are there so many? Many of them I see the validity of, but some of them are a little ridiculous. Is the man of my dreams really going to care whether I like fish or not? How many relationships have ended because the couple couldn't decide what kind of pet to get? Quite frankly, if that was the reason cited, I would argue that there was something much deeper going on than could be solved at the local pet store. But, I answer the question. Why? Because I get a glaring ORANGE note when I leave something blank, and I feel like I'm being yelled at. That my relationship status depends on having all of these fields filled out. Besides, I can't stand unfinished business. Then it comes time to fill out the narrative. How do you summarize who you are in a paragraph? Oh sure, you can write a novella about your beliefs, hopes and dreams but given the attention span of most of us who the hell is really going to read that much? I'm half tempted to write something incredibly long just to see who can hang in there.
But I try to keep it simple. I talk about how wonderful I am. Talk about what qualities I want in my mate. This is not as easy as it sounds. I mean, I know I'm awesome. And I want to show that. But to acheive that without sound arrogant is a feat in itself. Then to try and list the qualities I want in a mate and not sound demanding? But in all honesty, I'm in a unique situation where I can say exactly what I want. It is one of the advantages to online dating. If you don't want to date left handed people, you can say that (I have no preference for left or right handed people by the way). And reading through others ads gives you an opportunity to decide who you're dealing with and if you want to deal with them at all. Of course, this is totally reliant on the idea that people are being truthful in their posts...but we'll get into that discussion another day. So after many revisions I get my narrative at least in the ball park of where I want it to be and post my ad. Now let's see who surfaces....
Hello World
I'm a single mom. Any single mom will tell you that dating isn't easy. Finding a guy that will accept that there is (at least) one person that will always come before them is hard. Let's complicate that fact that I have a child with some chronic medical issues. I'm sounding more and more attractive by the minute right? Yeah...that's what I thought. So I'm giving the online dating thing a try...again...for like the 3rd time...I'm a slow learner, ok?
I won't go into the sordid details of those past relationships...at least not now...maybe on a slow day, but for now I've got plenty of fresh material. I want to start off by saying that I don't intend for this to be a place where I bash everyone I date. But, I figure as long as I'm suffering through this dating scene, I might as well find some humor right? At the very least I'll have a place to whine about things so my friends don't have to hear about it all the time.
So that's me...hope you enjoy my life as much as I try to!
I won't go into the sordid details of those past relationships...at least not now...maybe on a slow day, but for now I've got plenty of fresh material. I want to start off by saying that I don't intend for this to be a place where I bash everyone I date. But, I figure as long as I'm suffering through this dating scene, I might as well find some humor right? At the very least I'll have a place to whine about things so my friends don't have to hear about it all the time.
So that's me...hope you enjoy my life as much as I try to!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)