I know this is supposed to be my observations of my current dating life, but in the past 24 hours I've been contacted by 2 exes. Both stating that they miss me...they were stupid for letting me go, blah, blah blah. Now normally I would quote a line made famous by a Cee-Lo song. If it was anyone but these two particular people.
Ex #1 is someone I'll never be rid of. He's the father of my child. And I'll be the first to tell you that he's been a total ASS and has done nothing for either of us. That includes child support, emotional support or anything that generally goes along with being a good parent. We do still talk on occasion, but last night was completely different. Don't worry, I have no delusions of grandeur. I'm not kidding myself. I know who he is and how he can be. And I don't think I can ever forgive him for hurting my son. However, the conversation does remind me of how things used to be. Of who he could be. I'd be lying if I didn't think how nice it would be to be a real family. The whole conversation was surreal...it was nice to not have a hostile conversation with him. But then the sun rises and with it brings reality. That is a life I will never know. What I can hope is that he can get his act together enough to recognize what he's missing out on by not seeing our sweet child grow up. The one good thing that came out of the conversation was that I've recognized that I've finally forgiven him. There is an inner peace that I have in dealing with him. I'm grateful for him entering my life because without him, I wouldn't have my son. So for those reasons, I wish him well. I want to see him succeed and be a better person if for no other reason that it will be best for my son.
Ex #2 is someone I can't seem to stay away from even though I probably should. We dated a for a few months a few years back. With him having sole custody of his children and me with my little man, we had a happy little unit together. Lots of chemistry, the kids got along. We all loved each other. Then life happened. My J-man was diagnosed and my life turned upside down. Then the ex got bogged down with work and trying to manage his own household. Eventually it was time to just call it quits. It was one of the most difficult break ups because we weren't fighting. Nothing "bad" happened. Just life. Being contacted by him just brings up all the thoughts about what could have been. He wants to meet up for a meal, and I'm sure I'll probably agree to it, like a fool. And it figures he would show his face right when I'm moving on with the new prospects.
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